Tribute to B.o.B.

B.o.B said it better than I could have. This is how I feel. And honestly, I'm over all the nonsense...Technically this counts as me talking about someone else--the rapper, that I do not know personally and he does not read my blog so I think I'm safe.

Tell me where am I supposed to go?
And who am I supposed to believe.
If only you knew what I knew.
Then you could see just what I see.


So I grab my bags and go, as far away as I can go.
Cause everything ain't what I used to know.
And I try to hide, but I just can't hide no more.
There's nothing worse than feeling like a ghost.

You say I look fine, if only you knew what's on my mind.
You'd see a whole different sign, I couldn't show you even if I tried.
I must have got lost in time when I found out I was only free to be, where ever I want to be.

Some say I'm out of sight, how I run and that we're all so blind.
If you could open up your eyes, you could see what I couldn't describe.
And then, you'd see the signs, and then your soul would be set free, and then you'd be released.

So I grab my bags and go, as far away as I can go.
Cause everything ain't what I used to know.
And I try to hide, but I just can't hide no more.
There's nothing worse than feeling like a ghost.

Tell me where am I supposed to go.
And who am I supposed to believe.
If only you knew what I knew.
Then you could see.

So I grab my bags and go, as far away as I can go.
Cause everything ain't what I used to know.
And I try to hide, but I just can't hide no more.
There's nothing worse than feeling like a ghost.

And I'm terrified, like I've seen a UFO.
Cause everything ain't what I used to know.
And I try to hide, but I just can't hide no more.
There's nothing worse than feeling like a ghost.


(And I'm so tired of hiding, I've been running, I've been trying, to get away, to get away)

So I grab my bags and go, as far away as I can go.
Cause everything ain't what I used to know.
And I try to hide, but I just can't hide no more.
There's nothing worse than feeling like a ghost.

Call me whatever you want, title me whatever you like...(it's a song)

Someone called me a hypocrite yesterday. I'm not sure if that's the correct word, but neither is naive lol. OK. Before you get too concerned, let me just give some context to the situation. I have a blog (yeah, stating the obvious). Anyway, from the first day I started writing, I remember that I put it on my facebook page, but it was not a status update or anything like that. All i did was edit my website and include it there. The reason I did it that way is because I was really self conscious and I didn't want anyone to read my thoughts. Enter hypocrisy. Who writes a blog, publishes it on the internet, but doesn't want anyone to read it? It's a bit strange isn't it. Well the deal with that whole thing was this was more like a project to see if my life was interesting enough to me to write about it on a regular basis. It would be super funny if this thing was only read by people who didn't actually know me because then it would be hilarious. They would think who is this crazy lady and how in the heck do these things happen to her!? However, no such luck. I have random people walking up to me (that I know) making jokes about the things in here. That makes me weary b/c now I am open to the criticisms and opinions of people who know me. Well I put myself out there so it's my fault. Here's the deal peeps (yup, bringing back early 2000 slang) if you don't particularly like me, or know me, please don' t feel obligated to read. Seriously. You probably don't think I am that funny so this must just be annoying for you. If you think I am hilarious and a likable person, keep reading. You are awesome! LOL. And if you are trying to get to know me, you can read too because I promise I can keep you entertained if nothing else

I just can't keep living this way, so starting today...

Waddup! First and foremost, I must retract my announcement. Seems like Waco has not worn me down just yet. I'm here til I'm done with law school and that's just about the only thing that is going to get rid of me. Next, I am super busy! (yet I am taking time to write in my blog lol) Anyway, I am working on research for my moot court problem, research for my job and then homework. However, that being said, I am pretty happy right now. I have not really felt straight up happy in a really long time. Could be that the cute library dude offered me some of his M&Ms just now (yup, high point of my day, kids!) But seriously, things are going well with school (for the most part), I am making new friends (thanks to my Thursday dinners with the girls) and I am content with the way my life has been going in general. Also, II look around and I see that my sadness about not having stuff to do on Friday nights is greatly trumped by the fact that homes are floating away in Pakistan and families are starving in Somalia. I thought that it was necessary that I state this in my blog b/c I think most of the readers were getting a little concerned with my mental state and for a while, I think I might have been in a precarious (big word!) situation. Right now though, it's all good. :-)

Announcement

Hey readers! I am such a celebrity! I make announcements via the media.(Step aside Kim K.) Anyway, I am about 90% sure that I am moving back to Trindad in the next few days. I can't give too many details yet but most of them will never be released. I will keep you up to date with anything I can disclose. That's all. I will not be answering questions at this time.

Dispatches from my bedroom

~~As most of you already know, the point of this blog is to tell stories of my life. I like making fun of myself and though it's fun to tell a story to one person and have that person laugh at me as much as I laughed at myself, if I write it down and publish it, then I can let even more people into my life. The only thing is that when I am back at school, there are fewer fun stories I have to share. I can't think of a single interesting occurrence in my life since the last time I wrote. I don't have time to cook, so no more burns; most of my time is spent at the library, sometimes in a cubby so no one can find me, other times in main area welcoming distractions. Take today for example, I got to the law school at 10:15 am. I finally left at 9:45 pm. All I did all day was go to class then do hw. No one really wants to hear about that; it bores me to think about how lame I get once schools starts! I have been trying to keep running though. This summer I had a great routine of running 3 times a week. Thus far it has been more difficult to do this (especially if I spend 12 hrs at the law school!) the objective is to lose 10 pounds by November. This goal is two-fold: 1. I want to see if I can do it and 2. That will take me to how much Serena Williams claims she weighs and I was mortified that I weighed more than her lol. Also, since Jennifer Hudson is now a size 6, I have no excuse. I guess that's 3 reasons. I have to put on a dressy dress at the end of the quarter for Law Prom and it would be nice to rock a size 6. We'll see I guess. ~~

~~Despite the fact that in general I am failing to keep up with any of my goals for the summer, I am adamant about 2. One is the weight loss so I came home today and went to the gym and I play flag football once a week. The other is reading for fun. My cousin (who I think follows my blog) gave me a book for graduation: The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch. This is an excellent book and it is making me re-evaluate the way I do and think about certain issues in my life. He gives very practical everyday advice. The book is tiny but with only a few minutes a day to read for fun, it's taking me longer than I would have liked. Not a problem though, no rush. ~~

~~I think after writing this post, I have found a way to keep this blog going without necessarily creating unusual life experiences for myself. I can simply express my thoughts and goals. I don't want this to become an account of my days b/c I would not read that and would hope none of you that currently read would allow me to insult your intelligence by an in depth discussion of the fact that "Today I took notes in class. Also, it rained all day" Well whoop-tee-doo! No one cares about that stuff. Instead, if it's of interest to me, I'll share. I think every so often I can rant about pop culture b/c lord knows after I watch Keeping Up With the Kardashians I have so much to say! If you guys don't care, let me know and I am sure I can find some other interesting topics. Maybe you can keep me accountable wrt (with respect to) my various goals. That might require that I buy a scale. Whomp whomp...~~

Restless leg syndrome?!

To all my friends who aren't American: Yesterday a pipe burst on campus. Therefore the City of Waco and the school sent out notices advising the students not the drink the water without boiling it. Then I sat and listened to my friends talk about the fact that Waco water has a strange taste. Finally, I heard students in the halls talking about the fact that their parents had somehow found out that the water was "bad" and that they should throw out their ice and to remember not to drink the water. At that moment, I felt so out of touch, kinda like a FOB (fresh of the boat). Growing up in Trinidad, I remember sometime I would think about the water that would come out of the tap but for the most part, it didn't affect me. I am pretty sure that while I was home, I drak water from my fridge which I don't think is filtered but I could be wrong. Yes you heard me. I drank water from my so called "third world" country lol. I didn't even think twice about drinking the water before I read the email. Also, my roommate forgot that there was a boil order and he used both the ice and drank the water. I'm sorry to report that he is dead...Wait, nope he's still alive. Oh but just barely, he has been draped over the toilet all day...wrong again. He is perfectly fine. Living here has made me so dramatic about certain things. I have learned about all kinds of diseases that either don't exist in Trinidad or are not real enough to given any real consideration. I had never heard of Mono before I moved to PA. My all-time fav is restless leg syndrome. And the wonderful side effects of taking certain meds for your fake disease. You may have blinking eye syndrome. Take this pill. Side effects: headaches, stomach pains, loss of feeling in your legs, loss of eye sight, spontaneous combustion, rarely death lol. It kills me!
Anyway, I'm done with my little small island rant :-)

Your official invite to my pity party

I'm back in Waco. Got back a few days ago. Being back has made me realize that it only takes one other person to keep me from feeling lonely. That person does not even have to be around all the time; just the mere fact that they are accessible keeps the lonely feeling away. I was at home and my whole family was there. It's not like they were with me at all times but I have been in my apt alone for the past 3 days and it's crazy how alone I feel. Though I can still call my parents and my sisters, there is no expectation that I will call and they will be back soon. Maybe that's what it is; that feeling that the person you are contacting will be back soon, that way you know you will not be alone much longer. I know that I am using this blog like a diary right now, but I have so many feelings and thoughts and talking to myself is just silly. Plus, the whole point of this blog was to be able to express myself when I didn't have anyone to talk to . Anyway, the only thing that gets me is that I love when my friends are happy. Thus, when one of my friend gets a g/f or b/f, I am super happy for that person. I want him or her to spend time with his/her significant other. This stupidity on my part encourages the loneliness.
See then I feel bad complaining about being lonely because there are people out there with even bigger problems than mine. If the worst thing in my world is that I am sitting on my couch at 9 pm on a Saturday, I feel dumb crying about it. Doesn't stop me from crying though; emotions aren't always rational. I'm in search of a 24 hr friend. Seriously. I can be there for you too. And you are allowed to date...as long as I am also dating someone too lol. New friend can be a guy or a girl and the only requirement is that the person be awesome.
Anyway. I'm going to keep chilling by myself, try not to wallow is self pity and rot on my couch :-)
-Lonelygurl23 out!