I'm back in Waco. Got back a few days ago. Being back has made me realize that it only takes one other person to keep me from feeling lonely. That person does not even have to be around all the time; just the mere fact that they are accessible keeps the lonely feeling away. I was at home and my whole family was there. It's not like they were with me at all times but I have been in my apt alone for the past 3 days and it's crazy how alone I feel. Though I can still call my parents and my sisters, there is no expectation that I will call and they will be back soon. Maybe that's what it is; that feeling that the person you are contacting will be back soon, that way you know you will not be alone much longer. I know that I am using this blog like a diary right now, but I have so many feelings and thoughts and talking to myself is just silly. Plus, the whole point of this blog was to be able to express myself when I didn't have anyone to talk to . Anyway, the only thing that gets me is that I love when my friends are happy. Thus, when one of my friend gets a g/f or b/f, I am super happy for that person. I want him or her to spend time with his/her significant other. This stupidity on my part encourages the loneliness.
See then I feel bad complaining about being lonely because there are people out there with even bigger problems than mine. If the worst thing in my world is that I am sitting on my couch at 9 pm on a Saturday, I feel dumb crying about it. Doesn't stop me from crying though; emotions aren't always rational. I'm in search of a 24 hr friend. Seriously. I can be there for you too. And you are allowed to date...as long as I am also dating someone too lol. New friend can be a guy or a girl and the only requirement is that the person be awesome.
Anyway. I'm going to keep chilling by myself, try not to wallow is self pity and rot on my couch :-)
-Lonelygurl23 out!
No comments:
Post a Comment